Furthermore, imagine that the combination of those non-stop responsibilities and an inherent millennial impatience collide frequently inside her mind.
Finally, imagine that whenever her frustration when her child will not feed, go to sleep, or cooperate and cries or screams to express upset in any of those situations, crosses over into anger towards her child.
Feeling angry towards a child, especially a helpless infant, can trigger threatening feelings inside a mom, from overwhelm to resentment to guilt to shame at being non-loving and a bad mother.
When this happens, the shame and thoughts questioning if she should have had that child may be too upsetting to feel and instead such mothers may look for the least annoying action her husband – and dad of that child – might do and displace her shameful feelings into anger and then snap at him and away from feeling them towards her child.
If this sequence is unchecked, it can lead to a husband becoming frustrated at being used more as a verbal punching bag than a sounding board and he may then react with anger or possibly more frequently, just pull away in sullen silence.
If you recognize this pattern in your own family and marriage, what can you do about it?
At Michelangelo Mindset we have created something we call Michelangelo Parenting and when your children are over the age of seven, when they may be able to think conceptually, that you can include them in.
Our view at Michelangelo Mindset is that just as he saw the sculptures of Angels, David and the pietas inside blocks of marble and carved until he set them free, we believe that inside familial distress and frustration in parenting is a calmness, connectedness and lovingness.